Ten Things I Hate About Me

There’s a certain amount of egoism involved in blogging. I’m assuming that people care what I have to say, and it seems that some do – so my heartfelt thanks for not allowing the guy on my shoulder with the pitchfork to win the battle for my soul.

Plus, blogging is kind of the thing to do. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like to do what everyone else is doing. The last time I participated in something popular was when I bought a bottle of Tribe. So yeah, I have what I call “bitch-lapses.” There are certain things about me that are not-so-great, and I thought I’d share some of my less desirable qualities. I think everyone should have a “Things About Me That Kind of Suck” lists.

It keeps you humble.

1) People who talk slowly bother me. I lose interest, and it’s not because they are boring or stupid. It’s because I’m really rude.

2) I’m ridiculously stubborn. I wanted to borrow my mom’s rototiller (the BIG kind) and couldn’t get it into the back of the truck. There was no one to help me and I just kept trying and trying to lift the damn thing until I had to acknowledge that physics was against me and you can’t fight science. But I managed to hurt myself long before that.

3) I have way too much pride, it’s definitely my big one of the Deadly Seven. The b/f is a bicyclist. On one of our first dates he took me out to a riding course and we went about 25 miles. I hadn’t been on a bike in about a decade. He kept asking me how I was doing. I kept insisting I was fine – because I was not about to say, “You know what, I need to stop,” or even, “Hey, why don’t we turn around now.” Nope. Not BBC. So yeah… I was pretty much hamstrung for about a week after that.

4) I am incredibly klutzy. I broke my tailbone on a boat that was on dry land at the time. And there’s the infamous Staircase of Fate incident, of course.

5) If I’m reading, writing, or doing anything that requires me to not be interrupted, I may very well growl at anyone who interrupts me. Like in a totally feral, let’s-get-her-to-the-hospital kind of way.

6) I hate talking on the phone, the advent of texting has made my life so much easier. I freely admit that it may have also made me a better friend and person. Look! I can show people that I care about them without actually having to SAY it!!!

7) I’m not a toucher. Never will be. Even in situations where you’re supposed to BE a toucher (weddings, funerals, reunions, parties), I’m like No ARRRGH!! Circle of protection!!! Most people get the drift when I narrow my eyes at them as they move into my space.

8) It’s very, very hard for me to say “I’m sorry,” even when I know I should. My Irish genes rebel when I try to form the words.

9) I have a very low voice. It kind of sounds like a man voice. And…

10) I talk too loud. Is that a big surprise?

12 thoughts on “Ten Things I Hate About Me

  1. Dude, you're like the only person who could write something like this without coming off totally emo. Kudos.

    Also… I ditto your number one. It's a problem. I'm like, DANG-IT-I-DON'T-HAVE-ALL-DAY

  2. Is it bad I'm suddenly tempted to do one of these myself?

    If it helps, at all, I'm a big follower of some of those vices– pride and stubbornness are big ones of mine. *pride high five* But acknowledging it is usually the first step.

  3. Worse than slow talkers — people who trail off. You think they're done, but no, they're BACK to re-summarize what they just said. And they look horrified that you've interrupted. If you sit there silently and don't interrupt, it's a monologue that could go on for hours.

    Or … maybe I'm just brutally impatient. 🙂

  4. Riley – Er… too funny b/c I straightened by hair and bought hair wax yesterday.

    Masako – Definitely do it! It's kind of fun and reminds you that you're not as awesome as you'd like to believe.

    Tamara – Oh my. Yes, the self-synopsis. Stab me.

  5. Umm . . . I think we may have been separated at birth, lol. The last five totally apply to me too. I've been known to back-hand the hubby if he tries to snuggle with me in bed, and I think the grossest thing in the world is when a relative tries to kiss me on the lips! BLECH!

  6. Wow–I totally hate you now, too.

    I hate talking on the phone–it's a ridiculous waste of time and there's no way to edit, which sucks. My 9 year-old daughter likes to hold my hand–I'm not a hand-holder. Please keep your grubby or curious paws to yourself, thankyouverymuch. I have zero patience and I interrupt people ALL THE TIME. I suck.

    Thanks for this uplifting post on a Monday. Go BBC.

  7. With the exception of #9, we're the same person! If I was going to post something like this, I could just copy and paste your answers (minus the personalized examples. I don't bike. EVER).


  8. Aww, I <3 you even more now. :-D

    I talk fast (too fast at times), so I won't bother you. (Not on that front, at least.) And the limit of my coordination is the fact I can walk in heels. Oh, and signing while walking … that takes some effort. My personal bubble has gotten a little more flexible (occupational hazard), but a certain character's twitch-when-you-touch-me trait wasn't a stretch to write.

    And I despise talking on the phone. Hardly ever do it.

    This makes me feel so warm and fuzzy on a cold, dark Monday. 🙂

  9. Angela – I used to HATE kissing. Kinda over that now. Still don't like the lean-in from people that I don't need in my space. They get that same narrow eyed look. I'd lay my ears back too, if it were possible.

    Bethany – I'm easy to hate 🙂 And yeah, I thought this would be a good Monday post!

    AM – Well then we officially ARE the same person, 'cause I'm never getting on a bike again!

    RC – Is it even possible for you to <3 me more? :)

  10. It's not pride, is it? The whole refuse-to-give-in thing is a great personality trait for a writer. I sometimes think only sheer bloody mindedness gets us there.

    If I'd been on that bike ride, I would have admired the scenery at least ten times. Nothing to do with needing to stop. Never!

  11. Tasha – It's true, we're human. I know. I was shocked too.

    Jo-Ann – I agree, the stubbornness and conviction of pride in myself (and by extension my work) is part of what gave me the will to get through my writing journey so far.

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