Thanks to everyone who participated in the Book A Day Giveaway! Winners are below, if you’re listed please email me – bigblackcat97(at)gmail(dot)com – with your mailing address and I’ll get your books out to you pronto!
Day #1 – TWILIGHT – Marin McGinnis
Day #2 – FAT KID RULES THE WORLD – Carole Anne
Day #3 – DOLORES: 7 STORIES ABOUT HER – Matt Sinclair
Day #4 – LOVE, FOOTBALL & OTHER CONTACT SPORTS – M Fantalis
Day #5 – WHO THE MAN – M Fantalis
Day #6 – THE WARRIOR HEIR – Myrna Foster
Meet the BBC Hatchet of Death (or, some other colorful description RC Lewis and I come up with at any given moment). This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot us an email.
Art by Lynn Phillips Nelson
Nine years later, seventeen-year-old Little Bit weeds the garden barefoot to feel the grass while her heart questions what’s on the other side of the wall. What kind of wall? Physical? Magical? Can she see through it? Memories of her past and how she got there are nonexistent. The magic anklet fastened on her by the young mage, Garrett, keeps her in the compound—keeps her from knowing why cows outnumber humans. So where did Little Bit come from? Is she the rabbit? Is Garret the boy from the first paragraph? When you say “compound” it feels more like a community than just the two of them, even though I know you’re referring to the area itself.
Garrett turns aside her questions with jests. Infuriated, Little Bit decides Garrett can fetch his own tea. Was she his servant? She outwits the anklet to escape into a world corrupted by magic Again, the question is raised of where all this magic is coming from? A supernova scorching “our” earth isn’t that far outside the limits of reality, but where does the magic come in? A side effect of the blast? It almost feels like it was there before that, the way this is reading, which wouldn’t be “our” world as we know it. and scorched by the unfiltered fury of the sun. Traveling by night, she evades Garrett to stumble upon mutated beetles and mega-sized possums. Worse, predatory survivalists skulk in the shadows as Little Bit follows rumors to a human colony in New Chicago.
I think the idea here is fascinating and really cool, but I need more clarification on the elements of magic. How did it get here? Was it on Earth before the supernova blast? Or did it come after? Was Garrett magical before the rays? Why is he special? And is there a love story between the two, or is it just friendship? I definitely need their relationship explained a little better, as I wasn’t getting “affection” out of his treatment of Little Bit at all.
The query is well-written, and the premise is catchy. You just need to get the elements I addressed above in there and I think you’ll be looking good.