1) Sometimes when I’m shopping in the dairy section and there’s a person on the other side stocking from the back, I have this perverse desire to talk to them. But there’s a wall of milk there. Somehow it’s socially unacceptable to break the fourth wall of milk, and I instinctively know this.
2) Why do we give people presents on their birthdays? Shouldn’t we give the present to their mom?
3) I’m going to see Phantom of the Opera this weekend for the third time. I’m Team Phantom, and every time I’m like, “Maybe THIS time….”